Day 36

Today is day 36. Wondered how is he again.

I wanna to sms him but den Im afraid that he will find me irritating. Should I stop to sms him from now onwards??

Yesterday night, surprise Janice (BK friend) was calling me. Wondered how she got my number and yet I neva gave to anyone my new contact number in order to get myself in trouble again. (**Pls dear, consult me first b4 given ppl my new contact can mah?) This is really a serious problematic for mi and is indeed a serious punishment there.

After that, I gets to know that they are arranging the christmas gathering on either 21 or 22. However, becoz she sms to my old number and couldnt get mi, she call hubby directly. And den he was telling her tat he wont be able to attend this time due to his work. Well, hmm.. true or not true, I dunno. . And still, he is at home, but den he is telling Janice tat he is busy working right now and asked her to call my directly by given her my new number.

After Janice called me, I was actually sms him tat abt this gathering, becoz everyone will be present on tat day, hope he can make arrangement to attend otherwise it wont be so nice den. But den, hubby insist not wanna join. :(

I couldnt force him den no doubt im sad. I sms to Janice tat both of us wont be join them due to hubby's work load. Really felt sori den. I wont be happy if Im joining alone with my hubby beside me.

Hubby sending kids back home last nitz, but again, he refuse to come in. Left the kids outside den he ciao le. Sigh..

I actually did gave him a call for reminder him tat on 18 Dec remember to onz his phone for standby, anytime he will get to receive the msg from MOE for son son's sec school result. And asked if on 19 Dec will he be able to attend to new school with son son mah. I wish I can join too, but den on 19 Dec ML got annual christmas lunch at the Aquarmarine, Marine Mandarin Hotel. Sigh, I might can time off den. . Depends how. .

Kids are actually telling me yesterday they are having conversation with their daddy abt the housing and car financing. Hubby was actually telling them tat he did actually paid for the insurance thingy. Sigh, which is last year mi did paid for all too almost thousand plus. And this time he is the one who said wanna paid for all which I did told him pls paid by our OCBC bank.

Today, mei mei was talking to her ah ma again abt this issue. Ah ma was den telling her tat again abt the insurance thingy. Still said he neva drive for wat he need to pay. Mei mei was actually telling her daddy got used the car le. And saying his CPF also deducted for housing mah. He neva stay there for the fuck he need to pay?? And Im the one who was asking for sepration in the first place and not hubby. No doubt tat, I've doing my way to amend this family and wanted us to be back again. All my doings it doesnt show appreciated by them. They started their conversation is becoz ah ma asking her this and tat again as per wat she told me wheneva they go home, sure got ppl questionin them thingy. Mei mei was indeed sided of me. Really very thanks to my mei mei. Really glad tat kids neva throw me aside too and I'll hope we can actually be back to last time again.

However, how can ah ma (my MIL) really saying such thingy to my kids. Really very disappointed me. All the while I would think my mother in law is the most nicer person in this world. Compared to all my friend's MIL. but this time is really too much. Even I called her and chatting with her also kena hide for listening by her. why why why??? Does she really need to do until like tat??

I was wonder should I give up or continued? Times have been given, but no action has been done since den. I am really very pity. Got husband like no husband. All my worries and happiness no one to share to. I guess worries are more den happiness. Since hubby left me from day 1, I dun find any happiness in me. What abt him? Does he have any happiness after he left me?

Kids was telling me tat they felt their daddy recently seen like dun really like them anymore. Wat does tat mean? Is he going to give up kids as well?? Wat is hubby really thinking abt?

Regards,
ShiQi